Let me tell you about my wife...
My wife is simply gorgeous. She frets sometimes about not wearing makeup and such very often, but she doesn’t need it. She’s just the right about of short for me, she’s fit, toned, with long legs, a nice ass, and a generous rack...I was more about the legs and ass before I met her, and now I'm about all three. She’s got yummy lips, lovely smooth skin, and gorgeous blue eyes that turn green on ...um...certain occasions.
Gotta love’em.
She wears a lot of hats. She’s an awesome mother, a dedicated career woman, and an athlete. Seriously about the hats though, she looks cute in baseball caps when she’s trying to hide her hair some mornings, and she has a collection of Sunday Best kind of hats that occasionally come out for special occasions. Being born to English parents, she’s one of the few people I’ve met where it actually suits her...must be a British thing.
She’s thoughtful, caring, and often self-less to a fault. She puts in so much effort into other people that she sometimes forgets to take care of herself. This occasionally gets us in trouble since I’m usually the one to try and keep her from overdoing it, or pick up the pieces when she does it anyways...but that’s hard to do when I’m not around.
She’s educated, not afraid of doing her own research, and extraordinarily intelligent. She fails to see it much...such is her modesty I guess....but that’s also I think from the fact that she’s from a grossly over-educated family where she’s the only one without a masters or PhD. Not that she couldn’t...just that she hasn’t...which is the difference I would draw. Our professional lives are quite separate, in that neither of us ever has much opportunity to see the other in action. I don’t think either of us has a great idea of what the other actually does with our day. I know she’s only seen the surface of mine, and what I tell her about is usually the few good or fun times I’m having, so she tends to think that I’m out gallivanting around the world being jolly, when the reality is far from it....but as I said, she spends too much time trying to take care of others, so I try not to go on to much about the hard times at work.
Similarly I have no idea what she does at work. When I get home from work I can see how much she’s been online during the day...and she tells me what the latest issues are at work, and what’s bothering her this week, etc. Usually dinner conversation stuff I suppose. But I really have no idea.
But there was something I noticed the last couple times I visited her office. I remember visiting it when she first took over the job, and the uncertainty she had about whether she’d be able to fill a new and unfamiliar roll from what she had done earlier at the hospitals. Some years later, things have changed considerably. She’s been doing the job, and she’s good at it...her last boss had nothing but glowing compliments about her. While she only fills in a supervisory role occasionally, and is generally not comfortable with it because it sometimes requires holding people responsible for their jobs. My job deals a lot with looking at how to lead people better, and she’s an excellent example that I’d love to learn more from. She’s organized, motivated, self-starting, not a fan of BS, and not afraid to get on the phone and arrange stuff that needs to be done. (I’m not a big fan of the phone) She doesn’t have an answer, she’ll go out and find it. She’s in charge. And I love her for it.
She’s very independent...or at least can be. I’ve known Cling-ons in the past, and saw what their bf’s had to put up with. I knew that kind of relationship would never work for me. As I think I’ve mentioned elsewhere, neither of us were big on the idea of co-dependency, and we have a hard time trying to ignore it in others. It’s been a definite bonus in recent years when I have to leave her to fend for herself and the kids for months at a time, but it was always good to know that she could take care of herself...and occasionally me when needed. I know from experience that even if I’m lying on the floor crippled by pain to the point of being unable to talk, that my wife is the sort who can calmly put me in clothes, help me to the car and get me to the hospital. I love her for that too.
Now she’s human, and not entirely perfect...like all of us, she has her flaws (here I go, back to the puppy house). She’s sometimes overly competitive, can be slightly passive aggressive, and occasionally about as hypocritical as I am. She’ll be one of the first to tell me to get help for something, but she’ll try to stay independent and work through things solo far longer than she needs to before she seeks assistance. She’s usually way too critical of herself. She’s got some daddy issues (who doesn’t) and ex-bf baggage (ditto), and a very special brand of logic that sometimes I think I’m not ever intended to understand (chalk it up to a woman thing
) And she doesn’t have a very good filter...which tends to fall off entirely with a little bit of booze. Ok, maybe that’s not so much a flaw in my world...I like her that way sometimes, open and brutally honest....although it can be awkward at parties...especially work parties. She doesn’t listen to me...even when she should...but that’s ok, since I don’t listen to her either....even when I should. She does numerous little things that drive me nuts...but that’s ok too...I drive her nuts too. What can I say...we’re married.
Is that it? Not hardly...but really none of it matters. It’s part of the package, and her flaws pale in a truly unimpressive fashion when considered alongside her attributes....and I’m not just talking about huge, ...um, ...tracks of land...either. Yeah, she’s a bit of a liberal, married to a conservative ...but she stands her ground, as she should.
She’s hot, sexy, a vixen, very well matched for me, and still makes my toes curl. Almost 2 decades together and all I can ever figure is practice makes for great sex.
There’s been some developments lately that will need exploring, but I can’t imagine how that will be anything but fun.
She also makes really good babies...and is an awesome mother to the children...they love her to death...possibly literally if they keep climbing and jumping on her in ten years like they do now.
She has her own hobbies now, but has taken the time to join me in some of mine. She’s awesome, a very unconventional gamer. She didn’t get into it until university...so she’s not a slave to convention. She doesn’t just sit around for the monsters to get her...and she doesn’t automatically jump up to defend the rest of the party...no, she jumps out the 2nd floor window and runs away! It’s awesome. She’s a vicious backstabbing Munchkin player too!...and wins those games far more often than I’d like.
Such is my wife...I’ve known her almost half my life, and over half of hers, yet she still does the unexpected. Sometimes to my chagrin....usually to my happy surprise....or at least surprise. Possibly this if off-putting to me since we’ve been deeply attuned to each other for years. It’s not the light superficial cutsie version that basking NRE kids have, of just finishing each others sentences. No, we vocalize each other’s thoughts, entirely...before the other has evened opened their mouth. We often can tell what the other is thinking with just a look...we know all each others ideas. Ok, not entirely all ideas...hence the occasional surprises. And we fight good...always have. Both of us can drive each other to the brink, but no matter how hurt or tearful the conversation, we always know it’s out of love for one another. We have our words, our processing, and eventually we work things out in the end. There’s never been any violence..which is good because she can kick my ass (or ribs in one particular case), but there is makeup sex...
Who wouldn’t love that??
I’ve mentioned elsewhere how I suddenly found my wife talking in a very poly manner at a gathering a couple months ago, where I said:
My wife and I were at a dinner party the other night with some other poly peeps in the area.
It was a reflection on how things change, and how far we’ve come in the journey so far. In the last couple months I haven’t been able to see my metamore much, and my wife hasn’t had much time with her either. It’s possible they may be coming up on some challenges they may have to work out in their own relationship. And now that I should have some time at home and my gf is in town, we’ll have to figure out how to arrange all the schedules to try and get some precious time with our respective lovers. And if it wasn’t busy enough, there’s another girl, Vee, in a nearby town that I’ve been trying to get to know better for a while.
My wife has been awesome through all of this. She was supportive from the beginning with Vee, apparently picking up on the connection with her before I did. And while she has had struggles at various points with my gf, she’s finding her way there as well...certainly no slouch in trying to make things work out for the better.
But mostly lately, I’ve been noticing how my wife interacts with her own gf. Even going so far as to call me up to chew me out for doing something which upset my metamore. At the same time she tried to be apologetic... sooo Canadian. ...but as far as I was concerned it was a good thing. I’ve seen how pissed off she’s gotten at people who’ve done things to upset me...to see her leap to the defence of another, and against me was actually gratifying. It reinforced to me how deeply she cares for her gf, and how much she loves her. It’s beyond cute text messages and symptomatic NRE, and seems to be building into something far more substantial for my wife. She’s a force to be reckoned with...and it warms my heart immensely to see it.
