Blog in User Profile

I have decided to use my User Profile where it says "Visitor Messages" as a sort of combination between a Blog and a Facebook Wall. I think this is a good idea because it gives the blog/profile owner complete control over all posts made on there, unlike this sub-forum which requires moderators to make any changes after 12 hours, and/or for posts made by other people that the blog owner wishes to have removed. I recommend that other people try this if they are so inclined.

The way people would know if there is a new post in one of these is by updating a thread in THIS section and posting a link to it (although a link is not necessary because one can get to a user's profile by clicking on the user's name, but I realize that it's part of the human condition to make things more complicated than they really are, so in the spirit of both enabling and thwarting that mentality, I endeavor to suggest as many choices as I can think of while simultaneously mocking those to whom i so contradict myself. but sometimes I digress, and this seems to be one of those times). Also, if a profile-blog generates discussion, those posts can either be split off into a discussion thread (by ANYONE - not just the OP), or people who are interested in it can make their own link to it and return via their own efforts.

Of course, I'm not saying that MY blog is going to generate anything interesting or discussion-worthy. After all, my name is "BoringGuy" not "FabulousCharismaticExcitingKnockYourSocksOffGuy" (it wouldn't let me put that many letters in when I registered so I had to settle for "Boring" because I couldn't make up my mind between "Charismatic" and "KnockYourSocksOff" as the prefix, but as I said before, I digress sometimes and this is another one of those times). However, someone brought these questions up when I ran this idea by them, and I thought everyone should know that I have thought about these things and those are the answers I came up with.

Anyway, I made a wall post on my profile and I hope it bores the hell out of anyone who bothers to read it. I have to go out and buy cat food now. Have a day. :|

http://www.polyamory.sbs/forum/member.php?u=50914

The Boring Blog has been updated.

It's really boring though. And short. I'd apologize for that, but I did it on purpose and don't regret it, so no apology necessary.

Country Wrench - A Story Told to the music of "I Walk the Line"

When ah was just a sticky young pup, my daddy took me out to the hog-butchering shed to tell me, in all o' his Righteous Wisdom™, all about the ancient art o' procreation, why Commies can't get dates, and the advantages of enlisting livestock for er, "recreational porpoises" Having had mah noggin stuffed full o' all this knowledge, ah FOOOlishly asked mah Pa what he DID on those days he'd trudge off behind the barn with a gunny-sack. Well 'e playfully chucked a few pigs' feet off mah for'ead, set me up on a big ol' barrel o' jellied pig-entrails, scratched that wart o'his with his good hand, spat sumthin' @ the wall & said:

"Boy! On the day ah married yo' sistah, ah grabbed mah best sour-mash & went off behind the barn, aet sum o' those li'l fungi-thangs that grows on cow-shit, & went for a walk. Well, ah ran into one of them "boudreaus" and he had a 12-gauge. Took me off @ gun-point to 'is farm, stuffed mah mouth with crawfish, stripped me, hog-tied me, smeared me with sow-hormones, and threw me in the pig-pen. Well, ah sat in that-there pig-pen for three WHOOOLE days... Ah mean, ah coulda left after an hour or so but... Well son, you'll understand when you're older. While ah was wallowing around in that-there pigpen, ah saw a curious object. At first ah thought it was one o' them regular wrenches you see in the city, but when ah "accidentally" touched it to mah "naughties" ah KNEEEW (shudder) that it was... Anyway, they finally threatened to destroy mah credit-rating at the local brothel/livestock-warehouse, so ah had to go. So, ah took that monkey-wrench & put it where NO ONE (except maybe yo' sistah) gonna find it, & walked back home, savoring the sweet smell o' manure bakin' in the summer sunshine. And it wasn't for two WHOOOLE weeks 'til ah felt that dang monkey-wrench finally slide down the left leg o' mah overalls."

Mah Pa just grinned at me ...& ah sat on that big ol' barrel o' jellied pig-entrails a LOOOONG time before ah finally got up the guts (get it? GUTS? entrails = guts guts = entrails? Get it? Huh do ya? Aw fuck it) to ask mah daddy if ah could try it too... The End

I'm Speed Racer & i drive real fast

I drive Real Fast, i'm gonna last

Glossary

I know people want to understand me better so I have created this "cheat sheet" (no, not THAT kind of "cheat". Gaud. You people are OBSESSED with two things it seems - cheating and big dicks...) so you can study in your spare time. I don't have time to include everything all at once, however, so here is what I have so far:

The Book of Terminology According to Boring Guy™ Esquire, Top Secret Highly Classified Secret Agent of the Government, but if you ask the CIA, NSA, FBI, DHS, FDA, or USDA, every single one of them will categorically deny it, which is why I must operate under such grueling conditions:

Excuse me = Get the fuck out of my way (as opposed to getting the you-know-what IN my way. "out" is the opposite of "in". People forget that all the time. Just like "up" is the opposite of "down" and "stupid" is the opposite of... wait a minute, there IS no opposite of "stupid".)

Excuse you = Get the fuck out of your OWN way (see after "excuse me" where applicable)

Gesundheit = You farted (or someone did - and it was NOT me. I always take credit for my farts.)

Bless you = I farted (see after "gesundheit" where applicable)

Please = This is important to me; I really mean it.

Harvard Please = This is just a suggestion; if it's irksome or inconvenient , feel free to disregard it.

BoringGuy said:

You people are OBSESSED with two things it seems - cheating and big dicks...)

Click to expand...

I seem to recall it was you that was posting about dick size and what may or may not have and effect on it.

Oh expletives. Do i have so many stories to sell. Stories to TELL i mean. Tee hee. Here is one:

I was at the thing again and i waa hanging out with my new "sweetie", i guess i will use the letter R for short. We were getting ready to go for a walk or something, and there was this couple playing pool and we were talking to them about stuff. I was like "S this and S that, blah blah S and me, etc." and eventually the guy said to me, "i'm confused about the cast of characters. You keep mentioning S..." at which point i interrupted with, "ya, S and i have an open marriage. I'm hanging out with R." The guy was like "oh okay" and i said "yeah i wish more people would ask instead of being confused." i mean what am i supposed to do? Have a bunch of those "awareness" cards made up like parents of children with autism do when they decide to drag their kid with sensory-stimulus issues along for dinner at Hooters? "Hi I'm in an open marriage. Do not feel uncomfortable. My spouse knows about this. Here is their phone number so you can check in case you don't believe me."


Here is another:

Two days before this, there was a dinner, and i sat next to both of them (s & r). Right after dessert was done, this woman came over from another table, she was older and in great shape and had a sort of pushy yet engaging demeanor. And she sits down and says to me something like, "hi i'm H, what is your name? Tell me about yourself. Who are you where do tou come from what do you do what is your deal?" i fielded her curiosities about me rather gracefully, even though i remained a bit reserved out of respect for our hosts and the other guests who weren't interested. Oh forget that. I know everyone must have been paying attention to ME. I'm just that fabulous and/or good looking, i guess. That's just what i've heard from other people. I'm just reporting the facts. Anyway, turns out this H woman was really curious about my personal life, so i wish she would have just said so from the beginning and then i wouldn't have bored her with other shit. The next day i mentioned this to someone and the owner said "oh she's a shrink". He didn't know what KIND of shrink she was, but i'm like "great, i got "shrinks" approaching me at clothing-optional dinner parties wanting to know which one is my "real" date."



That is all i feel like writing at this time.

Hey folks, if anyone's interested in BG's email address, PM me. Thanks!